now i know why i became what i already was.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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