I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
