I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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