Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
