who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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