Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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