I am in a vortex of obligation.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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