Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
What a dumb baby whore.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
