so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You are a genius and a whore.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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