why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
