He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
