yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
