Is it because I queefed?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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