goodnight i made you a song goodbye
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
