i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize