R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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