Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
