Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
