Whod you bang
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
