You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You're completely useless in the revolution.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
