It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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