i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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