Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
