Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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