Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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