the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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