It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
