I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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