We're like a lot better than the average bears
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
