im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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