Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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