You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
