I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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