So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
