New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
