Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
