The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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