I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
