just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
