I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
