i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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