How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
