where am i from again
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
