so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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