I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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