Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
