honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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