He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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