she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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