Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
