Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
